The Parker Institute for Time Travel Studies has bugged out of squares-ville and booked-it back to the 1960s to give you this neat-o list of the hottest companions (chicks only need apply) The Doctor has ever had. Now, I been rappin’ on this for a while, so don’t have a cow over my lingo, man. Sit back, kick your Jesus boots, hang loose, and read the hippest, grooviest list of Doctor Who companions ever mimeographed. Like, I mean these are the kinda chicks that some Butch Wax’d never stand a chance of goin’ all the way with, if you get my drift, .
- Clara Oswald — Oh, man! That … is … all!
- Romana I — Woo! Cuteness cubed.
- Amy Pond — Drawing designs on that honey, but the attitude has got to go, baby
- Sally Sparrow — The companion who never was, she is the most!
- Martha Jones — Sex pot, city, Daddy-O.
- Rose Tyler — She aint’ no skag, herself.
- Zoe Heriot — Oh, man. Smarts and sass!
- Sarah Jane Smith — Have you seen the legs on this foxy lady? Love to tell her it’s snowing down South
- Romana II — Not as sexy as Romana I, but this chick ain’t a square!
- Ace — Don’t believe me, brother? Look her up. I could watch this skirt all night long.
Now we gotta burn rubber back to the future before we get in too much trouble with the fuzz. Got here in my TARDIS, but gotta get out the port-holer and lay some scratch for the 2010s, if only I can find 1.61 GW, that is.
Don’t like my list? Sock it to me, baby, but don’t get a 502 doing it!
Copyright © 1966 and 2013, Keith Parker